Existence precedes essence.
What is existence? Existence is defined in language only by the statement "I AM." This statement, although subjective, implies an objective existence. (i.e. We're not figments of our own imaginations; existence exists.)
What is essence? What is essential? Immediately following its inception, a being has essence. Subjectivity is essential to a being capable of saying "I AM." If the being were entirely objective, it would not understand the word "I" in the sense that "I" exist separately from other existents. Cognition is essential to such a being, in order that it may grasp the concept of existence. Perception is also essential if the being does not exist alone. So my essence must be subjective, cognitive, and perceptive.
Since I exist among other beings, some of which are essentially the same as myself, I must interact in some way with them. With those essentially equal beings, I must act in a manner I would deem appropriate for all such beings. In doing so I represent my idea of how a subjective, cognitive and perceptive being should act. Like Atlas, I hold the responsibility of the world on my shoulders. I must act with awareness. I must perceive the world and then conceive a course of action.
Without the necessary cognition I would be unable to devise a course of action. My perception would be useless; I would be unable to grasp the essence of the things I perceived and would be overcome with miniscule bits of data. Through abstraction I can integrate these tiny pieces into a larger whole. This is imperfect; I sometimes lose important or even essential details in this process. Without this ability, however, I would be inundated in a deluge of information. Abstraction is essential to cognition.
I choose the details I wish to remember subjectively. I may not choose consciously at all times, but I do the choosing, and therefore my choices are subjective. Another being may choose to remember different details and therefore ultimately perceive things differently. Neither view is wrong, but neither is entirely right. I do not hold the entire truth, only subjectively-chosen partial truths.
Knowing this, I face a dilemma. Is it better to strive toward an objective standard or to accept my subjectivity as it is? My search for an answer implies that I am already striving toward an objective standard, since accepting subjectivity unconditionally would preclude questioning it. However, in adopting an entirely objective outlook I would lose all sense of my self (my "I"), and would be incapable of interaction, as we now define it, with other beings. Therefore I answer that, while I necessarily strive toward objectivity in my pursuit of understanding, I must retain my subjectivity in my interactions with other beings (in my perception), or else eliminate myself completely from existence as I know it.
The pursuit of understanding is essential. The work involved in balancing objectivity and subjectivity is essential. The choices involved in such work are essential.
Volition is essential. I control myself and my actions. I choose the details I ascribe to an something's essence. I choose how I relate to other beings. I choose how I smell, taste, see, touch, hear and I choose how I react to the things I smell, taste, see, touch, hear. I form my own ideas by my power of volition.
These ideas are, subjectively, more real to me than the things I perceive, since they represent my integrated perception of those things. They are the integrated essences of the things I perceive, and they are integrated thoughts relating to one or many of the things I perceive. Beings essentially the same as myself also integrate their thoughts into ideas, since this is the essence of the cognitive process. In creating something or modifying something, I project my ideas and mold the physical world accordingly. Others perceive my creation and understand something about my essence. I perceive others' creations and understand something about their essences. I form an idea of their essence based on my perception of their creations and actions, and therefore their philosophy.
I judge other beings on the basis of my idea of their essence. I judge them according to the values I have formed subjectively while striving toward my goal of objectivity. My appraisal of their essence as I perceive it is the foundation of my relations with them.
I form my values through the same process of integration by which I form ideas. If I formed my values arbitrarily or accepted the values of another I would forfeit my integrity: I would relinquish my power of volition; I would no longer be working for or against objectivity or subjectivity; I would give up my essence and would have nothing for which to exist. Values are essential.
Values are appraisals such as admiration, respect, exaltation, aversion, indifference. In judging other beings and their values I assert the importance of those beings and values. My existence is important; subjectivity, cognition and perception are important; volition is important; understanding is important; work is important; creation is important; ideas are important. There are also many things I value as important which are not essential to me. All of these values integrated make up my philosophy, and thus my ethics. I modify both constantly, integrating newly-perceived essences into ideas and values.
I use my values to judge two things: people and their art. I ascribe some level of importance to them and base my reactions upon my values. If I find a person with great integrity I admire their wholeness. If I find a person who has acted with great integrity I respect their actions. If I find an artwork with great integrity I experience exaltation. If I find a person or an artwork completely lacking integrity, containing arbitrarily-chosen values, I experience disgust and aversion. If I find a person or artwork which seemingly asserts no values, or no coherent values, I remain indifferent.
Since all beings essentially the same as myself must seek an understanding of themselves by seeking objectivity, it is my responsibility to represent my essence to the best of my ability, to act according to my values as I have chosen them, and I must trust that they will do the same.
I do not need to list my qualities. Know me by what I have done and by what I have made.
Megan Thorsen
April 1998